Villain, Fraud, Liar—Or Just Human?

You might not like me.

You might think I’m an asshole.

You might hate my guts.

A liar. 

A fraud.

Maybe you’re right. 

Maybe I am.

Because depending on how you look at it?

I’m the villain in someone’s story. 

And sorry to tell you this, but so are you.

That’s the part we don’t want to admit, right? We want to believe we’re the good ones. 

The ones who were misunderstood. We were justified in what we said. We had good reasons for what we did. We were just reacting to the situation. But here’s the thing: Everyone thinks they’re the hero in their own story. So what happens when you’re the villain in someone else’s?

Are you willing to sit with that? Are you willing to admit that there have been times—plenty of times—when you got it wrong? 

The Uncomfortable Truth: You’ve Been the Problem Before. 

Have you ever said something you regret? Done something stupid? Stood so firm in your beliefs that you refused to see another perspective? Yeah. Me too. And here’s the wild part—people will lock you into that moment forever. They may refuse to let you evolve past it.

 Change your mind about something? You’re a sellout.

Learn something new and update your worldview? You’re fake.

Apologize and try to do better? You’re only doing it for show. Some people would rather drag you back to the version of you they hated than accept that people—yes, even them—are capable of growth. But ask yourself this: If you expect people to forgive you for your worst moment, can you extend that same grace to others? Because if we all did that—just once—everything would shift.

The Stand-Up Comedy Effect: Why We Need to Laugh at Ourselves

Lately, I’ve been watching stand-up comedians do something that we should all be learning from. Take Hasan Minhaj. He caught heat for things he said, ways he acted, and how he framed his personal stories. He got called out. He got angry. He fought back. 

Then? He made fun of himself for it. And here’s the crazy part—it worked. Not because he simply apologized. Not because he backpedaled. But because he was willing to admit that sometimes we act ridiculous, and we don’t even see it until later. 

Think about it-how many times have you been dead serious in the moment—only to look back and realize you were being dramatic? Or stubborn? Or completely missing the bigger picture? When we refuse to let people be ridiculous, to be wrong, to be human, we trap them in their past selves. And if you don’t want to be trapped in your past self, why do it to someone else?

A Shift That Can Change Everything

Here’s the challenge: The next time you feel justified in your anger, your resentment, your refusal to let someone off the hook—flip it.

 What if they were you?

 What if their worst moment was your worst moment?

What if, in ten years, they looked back on this moment and cringed at themselves—the same way you’ve cringed at your past self? I know. I know. It sounds corny as hell. But try it. Try seeing the person you hate as a human. As someone who has regrets. As someone who might, one day, look back and realize they weren’t the hero they thought they were. Because the truth is—we’re all just trying to figure this thing out.

Life can be a ridiculous rollercoaster. None of us know what we’re doing…And none of us get to be the hero in every story. So be real with yourself. Have you always been the good guy? 

Because if not—maybe it’s time to let someone else off the hook.

Let’s spend less time fighting and more time finding our way back to each other. 

Let’s #merge